How do you define success? 

Is it by winning?  By beating another?  Is it by achieving your goals?  This is a question that every athlete, coach, parent, employee, employer, and performer should ask themselves.  I think most of you would agree that confidence is a major component of performance.  High confidence can result in high performance, and vice versa.   How you define success can have an affect on your confidence level.

Let me explain. 

If you are the kind of person who measures success by winning and losing, you are probably very disappointed with a loss, which in turn affects your confidence and motivation.  Because you’re so caught up with losing, you’re missing out on the many positives and opportunities for growth that come along with it.   

Try this: Adopt the mindset that it’s WINNING AND LEARNING not winning and losing.

Taking a step back to recognize that there are positives that come along with losing can have an important influence on your confidence level.  Changing what success means can change everything, and give you a better perspective about outcomes.  You can and should be learning from every experience, win or loss, triumph or setback.  Michael Jordan has a great outlook on success...

"I've missed more then 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Don’t get me wrong, everyone wants to and should want to win, but winning doesn’t have to be everything.  If success is defined only by winning or other external factors, most of us are probably disappointed a lot.  Such wonderful growth can come from losing. Winning is a byproduct of many other things like preparation, effort, and hard work. Even when we do those things, we still may not win. So try not to get caught up in the notion that winning means success. Success comes in many shapes forms, and our definition of success is a choice.

Over the next week, take some time to evaluate how you define success.  Ask yourself what’s most important to you.  Winning? Beating others? Achieving your goals? Self-improvement?  Overcoming a challenge? By recognizing how you define success, you can begin to make changes to your performance, and see a difference in your motivation and confidence level.   The key to all of this is that you are in control. How you define success is a choice.

A good book to check out about success is John Wooden and Jay Carty’s Coach Wooden's Pyramid of Success: Building Blocks For a Better Life.

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.” – John Wooden

Most of the world’s best didn't get to the top by luck. It took many years of hard work, preparation, and sacrifice. Here are a few tips to help you reach the top, whatever your next challenge may be.

1. Do frequent mental dress rehearsals:  Whether you've already done the course, given the presentation, or pursued this dream before, frequently envision yourself achieving your goals and how you want to perform at each phase. Include breathing techniques, cue words, and a plan to help you stay positive for each step of the way. Doing this will create a "been there done that" attitude and atmosphere, so when the day comes, you'll be ahead of the game.

2. Have a Plan B. Or even a Plan C:  Preparation should include planning for what you expect to happen as well as things you might not expect.  Embracing adversity as opportunities for growth and planning for the unexpected will help you feel prepared no matter what happens.

3. Keep track of your goals:  Have long term goals that are your motivators. Set training goals to help you achieve your objective, make the process smoother, and give you direction. Stay process oriented while keeping your overall objective in mind. It's okay to shoot for the stars! But you can only reach the stars by putting in the work each day. Evaluate after each week of training and be prepared to make adjustments. Goals should adapt as you keep improving.

4. The right self-talk is key:  How you talk to yourself plays an important role in how you'll perform. Negative inner dialogue is normal and will happen, so rephrase it to something more positive and helpful. Develop a thought stopping cue and start a self-talk log to prepare for how you'll combat negative language when it happens.

5. Have fun! Remember why you're there, because you love what you do! If or when your training gets old and tiring, remember why you’re there and bring back the fun! Listen to your favorite songs, wear a fun outfit one day, start or join a training group you love to be with. Whatever it is, make sure it works for you!!